Evolution of the Chore

It starts right about age 2. You know, the desire to 'help' mom or dad with whatever we are doing. Of course, we as parents want to promote this helpful behavior so we give them a paper towel or a sponge and encourage them to clean the table, which they enjoy immensely even though they are very bad at it. We wouldn't dare injure their fragile spirits by telling them they missed a spot, so after they're done spreading dirt all over the place (including the floor which wasn't even dirty before!) we thank them for helping and then go back and re-clean their mess.

 

As they grow older we gently direct them by teaching them the proper way to do things around the house. This is how you put away the dishes, clean the bathroom or vacuum the floor. They are getting better but they are also realizing this is actual work and they become less eager to help. Of course we still have to go behind them to finish their task up to our standards.

 

Then we hit the teen years. Now we have a written list of chores that they are responsible for and even though they've been doing it since they were six years old, they are still surprised when the garbage needs to be taken out. Rarely does something get done on the first request . And while it was cute as a toddler, the fact that things still aren't done up to par, is much less endearing as a teenager.

Having said all that...what's the solution? How do we get them to do their chores the first time we ask (or if you really want to give me a heart attack, BEFORE I ask!) without complaining and to the best of their ability, which I know is better than what I've seen?  

Money? Do we pay our kids to do the every day things that I've been doing for free for years? I don't think so, they're not hired help, they actually had a hand in contributing to the mess. 

Withholding privileges? Alone, I guess this works with timeliness but doesn't promote a 'no complaining' attitude or doing things to the 'best of their ability' They're usually rushed to get it done so they can go do whatever they think is more important.  

Positive reinforcement? Nice thought but I think teens have short term memory loss when it comes to this. 

In the restaurant business lots of servers have to be 'checked out' before they are allowed leave. In other words, the manager walks through their area to see if it's clean and if they've set up for the following shift. Are all their duties complete and to the standards of the restaurant?

So I'm thinking a combination of a few tactics may work. Withhold privileges until the task is finished, 'checking' their work before they are excused to galavant and giving them praise for a job well done.  It's not perfect but I think I'm going to give it a try!